Tuesday, February 19, 2013

New Study

Dear Phloem Phreers,

I apologize for the lengthy delay in my posting this but I have had quite the busy year. I am now writing this from a secure location somewhere within the central United States. You see, not long after I started this blog, the government started to watch me (i havent actually seen them but i know theyre there) I have been under near constant surveillance and this has made my studies difficult to perform. But I am excited to announce Dr. Gripe, Dr. Maroth and I have teamed up to study the implications of the Chiquita and Norfolk Banana  Distributors Inc merger.
It has long been known that Chiquita has had near exclusive, shall I say monopolistic, hold on the banana market due to their over-generous government contracts. The one independent company that had been fighting this standard oil like monopoly had been Norfolk. They were the only company brave enough to remove the phloem bundles from their bananas before distribution. But sadly their soaring, eagle-like independence has come to a tragic end with the recently announced merger. So our study will look at the long-term implications of this tragic merger. 

Please keep us in our thoughts and prayers as we study this frightening merger and try to find the yellow, banana shaped light at the end of the tunnel. 

Phreers out. 

"May the swords of your brethren, heal the wounds caused from banabuse"


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