The Vast Conspiracy

What I'm about to tell you the government doesn't want you to know about. There is a vast conspiracy about phloem bundles of which I'm about to tell you. The plan is to eradicate the earth of human beings through a slow and deliberate process. This process which I shall henceforth refer to as the phloem process x. Phloem Process X started when government scientists on Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio started experimenting in alternative fruit weapons. Failures of the banana cannon, and watermelon bazooka did not deter the scientists who finally in December of 2007 had a "significant breakthrough". Doctor Ivan Powell Samuelson, a 30 year veteran of the Air Force, reported in a top secret document recently obtained by the Phloem Phreers that on the morning of December the 7th at 5:43 am the "greatest unknown weapon in the history of the world has been discovered." That weapon turned out to be none other than the famed phloem bundle.

From then on the government conducted many more secret tests to try to harness this insurmountable power. From a top secret document recently obtained by the Phloem Phreers, Dr. Samuelson stated "We have accomplished a major breakthrough in our research tonight. We have discovered that incorporating phloem bundles into the taxonomy of the banana would create the perfect biological weapon, easily incorporated into all restaurants, grocery stores, and especially dining halls and sufficiently deadly. The results are quite promising."

From then on the government instituted Dr. Samuelson's evil scheme with the main aim to shrink the population of the world in order to make it more manageable to rule over. Look for the book called "The Vast Conspiracy: The Phloem Bundle Story" in stores everywhere soon by Dr. Numair.

More articles to come on this vast conspiracy in the coming days or weeks.